Child of Her Heart Page 11

  Fourteen

  “Everything I told you last night was the truth,” he blurted. “It’s still true.”

  “What?”

  With concentrated effort, he quickly assembled his thoughts. He’d already screwed up and planted doubt with those words.

  Her guarded gaze bored into his. “How are you associated with Children’s Connection?”

  “Hell,” he said, rubbing a hand down his jaw, “you’re never going to believe me.”

  “Try me.”

  “I was going to tell you that I work for Children’s Connection. I’m their corporate attorney. But you have to believe that I didn’t know until this morning that you were—”

  “You’re the lawyer for the clinic?” she asked incredulously.

  He sat forward and nodded.

  Her frown revealed shock, then more questions. “You know about…about Anna?”

  “I didn’t put it together until I spoke with Terrence Logan this morning.”

  “So you’re here on the tab of the clinic, too?”

  “Well,” he said, hastily backpedaling, “they provide suites for executives…and their lawyer.”

  “Did they know you were here?”

  “Yes.”

  She stared at him in disbelief.

  “But I didn’t know you were here until this morning. Terrence just dumped it on me. The board has some other pressing matters to deal with and they need closure on this situation.”

  “This ‘situation’ is my life!” she said, anger having risen in her voice. She got to her feet, splashing water and climbing out of the tub to grab a towel and wrap it around her body. “You know the Logans, do you?”

  “Terrence and I have been friends and associates for several years.”

  “How convenient.”

  “I know it seems that way—”

  “And how convenient that you and I just happened to be vacationing in the same place at the same time.” Her sarcasm plainly revealed hurt, and it was killing him to have to inflict it.

  “I know how it looks.”

  “The board needs some closure to this embarrassing little ‘situation,’ do they? How selfish of me to keep them waiting. So they sent their top gun! Along with his entire family, so that I’d be completely unsuspecting that they’d decided to tighten the screws to persuade me I didn’t want to sue or hold anyone to blame for their mistake.”

  Her voice shook with emotion and unshed tears. Regret and frustration gnawed through his composure.

  “Their ‘mistake’ is my child,” she said on a sob, then caught herself and continued. “My precious little baby girl.”

  “I know, Meredith—”

  “You can go back and set their minds at ease. My mother is the one who wanted to sue, not me. She’s the one who’s been hounding them to admit their responsibility and who pressured me to give up Anna for adoption so as not to cause her humiliation. Well, I refused to do as she demanded and I don’t want to sue, either. All I want is to be certain that the baby I carried for nine months is really my child.”

  Lord, she had that question hanging over her, as well? He had no idea. The full extent of her situation was like a sudden punch to his gut.

  She wrapped her arms around herself. “Oh, she’s my child. I carried her in my body and I gave birth to her and I love her…but I don’t know for certain that she was conceived with my own eggs. If they screwed up the sperm, they could have messed up my eggs, as well.”

  All her pain and uncertainty was evident in those words. “You certainly have every right to know that,” he said, feeling ineffective and powerless and hating it.

  “Damn right I do. And I have a right to my privacy. And I have a right to do as I damn well please without being coerced and—and seduced into compliance!”

  He reacted with defensive anger, but he concealed it. “I did not seduce you. What we did was mutual. And I didn’t know who you were at the time. I swear to you. I was going to tell you as soon as I resigned from Children’s Connection.”

  She looked at him as though she was considering his words, as though she wanted to believe them—believe in him. But then her expression hardened once again. “Right. There are so many other single white mothers with half-black babies at this hotel.”

  She turned to leave the room.

  Justin, who’d been too stunned to move until that moment, lunged out of the tub and stopped her. Water streamed down his body and soaked the tiled floor. “I didn’t know they’d invited you here.”

  She shrugged his wet hand from her arm and wouldn’t look at him. “Don’t touch me.”

  That command had the power to slice him in half.

  “And don’t expect me to believe that you weren’t here to soften me up. If you’d been honest with me, I’d have told you I had no intention of a lawsuit. Suing the clinic would be acknowledging that Anna is a mistake. And she’s not. Tell them that.”

  “Of course she’s not.”

  “And tell them that all I want now is reassurance that this won’t happen to someone else. I feel it’s my responsibility to protect another woman.”

  She’d already been through so much, he knew, and she deserved better. “There will be a settlement, Meredith. The clinic is prepared to offer you a substantial amount.”

  “I think the clinic’s given me quite enough already. So you—” she pointed a finger at his bare chest “—get out and stay the hell away from me.”

  In her mind, he was the enemy now. By some cosmic joke he’d gone from lover to traitor in the span of minutes. “Meredith!” he shouted to her retreating back.

  She didn’t stop. She ran into the bedroom and slammed the door, locking it. Like a fanned flame, anger rose up and seared his thoughts. This was not his fault, damn it!

  He grabbed a towel and hastily dried off, then yanked on his pants and stormed to the bedroom door. “Meredith, talk to me.”

  Silence.

  “I was going to tell you, I swear. Let me explain.”

  The door opened and she emerged dressed, her hair brushed into order. “I’m going to get Anna. If you’re not gone when I get back, I’ll call and have you removed.”

  Her threat was too strong to ignore. “I’ll call you in the morning,” he said to her retreating back.

  He put on his shoes, grabbed the rest of his clothes and stormed out to the beach, where the waves continued their eternal journey, lapping against the shore.

  “I thought you’d be later,” Mauli said when she opened the door to Meredith’s knock.

  “No,” Meredith replied, struggling to keep her composure. “I’ll go get her.”

  She found Anna sleeping on Mauli’s bed and carried her out of the room. She deliberately avoided looking at the room where the boys were sleeping, and when she gave Mauli an impulsive hug, she knew the girl could feel her trembling.

  Mauli looked at her curiously. “Are you okay?”

  Meredith shook her head. “I can’t explain. Thanks for everything, Mauli. I don’t know when I’ll see you again.”

  “Why? What’s wrong?”

  “You’ll have to ask Justin to explain. Just remember that your friendship has meant a lot to me.” She turned and escaped out the door and down the hall, praying she wouldn’t run into Justin, that the elevator would come and he wouldn’t be on it.

  He wasn’t, and she entered, holding her baby close and crying freely now. He’d wanted her to believe that he hadn’t known who she was—and she’d wanted to. Her heart begged her to listen to his pleas and accept his innocence.

  But past experience and a healthy dose of self-protectiveness overruled and steered her emotions. Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me.

  Her door was locked, the room unoccupied, and she breathed a sigh of relief. She placed the still-sleeping Anna in her crib and wiped up the sopping wet mess in the bathroom. Stripping off her clothing, she couldn’t hold back the sobs. Her thoughts wouldn’t even come together to make sense or reas
on. She’d been tricked. And she’d been so needy that she’d lapped up the attention and the line of bull. How appallingly desperate of her.

  How inexcusable and unforgivable of him to lead her on and play with her heart. How cold and calculating of him, and how stupid of her to be so susceptible.

  She was a world-class chump.

  And how pathetic that she wanted to believe his denial.

  She never wanted to see him again.

  Throwing wet towels into a pile, she shook with anger—and cried for what she’d thought had been.

  Justin Weber worked for Children’s Connection!

  But how could she have known?

  As the bubbles in the tub dissipated, she discovered the watch, which had fallen back into the water unnoticed. She picked it up and stared at it with blurry vision.

  Never in a million years would she have had reason to suspect he was anyone other than who he appeared. He was so good…so believable….

  She’d shared more than her body with him; she’d shared her inhibitions, her hopes and her fears…and he’d seemed so sincere. All the more fuel to add to this gut-wrenchingly deep hurt and betrayal. How could her chest ache this badly when it felt so empty?

  When she blew out the candles and went to turn down the bed, there were no more tears left to be cried. Her throat hurt and her head pounded, and she felt as though she’d run miles carrying a heavy burden. Pausing only to check on Anna, she collapsed on the bed and fell into exhausted slumber.

  I think the clinic’s given me quite enough already. So you stay the hell away from me. Meredith’s words and the look on her face had kept him awake all night. She didn’t believe him and why should she? If he’d have read her file himself, rather than passing it along to his assistant—if he’d have been more involved, he would have realized who she was and could have prevented what had happened. There wasn’t enough regret in the world to make up for that.

  He’d slept with the Malone woman. Even Terrence wouldn’t believe he had no ulterior motive.

  No, it had been an avalanche of errors all the way around. A monumental miscommunication he should have prevented. Or had the board intended something similar? Not Terrence; his friend wasn’t underhanded or manipulative. So how could this have happened?

  After shaving and showering early, he dressed and ventured out into the sitting room. He’d just ordered coffee when Mauli joined him. “What happened between you and Meredith?” she asked without hesitation.

  Justin backed up to the desk and rested his hip. “I don’t know if you’ll believe me.”

  “Try me.”

  He couldn’t tell her the details of Meredith’s case, so he was inhibited in what he could reveal. Meredith’s connection to the clinic was private, so he merely explained that he hadn’t realized Meredith was party to a legal suit in one of his cases. He’d belatedly found out, but she’d believed he’d taken advantage of her.

  “Did you take advantage of her?” Mauli asked, her gaze narrowed.

  “No,” he replied. “I had no idea. And when I did find out, I planned to resign and then tell her. She found out first.”

  She absorbed his reply. “I guess she has reasons for her lack of trust, huh?”

  Justin nodded. “I guess she does.”

  “And I’m sure she’s pretty hurt and thinks she has good cause for her feelings.”

  He nodded again. “She wants me to leave her alone.”

  “Maybe she really wants you to talk to her, but she’s too hurt and mad right now.”

  “I don’t have much to lose, do I?” He took a couple of bills from his pocket. “Tip room service, will you?”

  He headed toward the elevator and down to Meredith’s room. As soon as he raised his hand to the door, his heart thudded. He knocked. And waited.

  Knocked again. No response.

  Back in his room, he dialed hers, but the call didn’t go through. Instead, a recording told him the room was unoccupied.

  Dreading what he would learn, Justin called the desk. “I’m trying to reach Miss Malone in room seven.”

  “Miss Malone checked out this morning,” the desk clerk responded. “She left an envelope for you at the desk. I’ll send someone right up with it.”

  A few minutes later, he tipped the staff member, ripped open the bulky envelope and stared at his watch.

  The fog under the watch face matched the one in his mind. He deliberately cleared his thoughts. “Mauli, what’s her cell phone number?”

  Mauli handed him a slip of paper and he punched in the numbers. He got Meredith’s voice mail and hung up without leaving a message.

  Lamond appeared in the doorway in his Spider-Man pajamas. “What are we gonna do today, Dad?”

  Fifteen

  What a difference a day made. All of Justin’s loyalties lay on the line now. Terrence was his friend and the clinic his livelihood. Meredith was the woman to whom he’d made spoken and unspoken promises. His children and his future were caught somewhere in between.

  He was angry with the board of directors for their thoughtless part in this. No, they hadn’t anticipated he’d become involved with the woman, but they’d underhandedly maneuvered a meeting.

  He was disgusted with himself for not taking a more active and comprehensive role in Meredith Malone’s case. All of this could have been prevented if he’d recognized her name when he’d met her. It would even have had a better outcome if he hadn’t been too cowardly to tell her as soon as he’d learned the truth.

  He was hurt that she hadn’t listened to him or given him the benefit of the doubt about his part in being at the same place at the same time. But then she didn’t have much cause to trust. Add the facts that her fiancé had dumped on her and her own mother didn’t support her, he guessed the sum was a general lack of trust in people.

  She didn’t know him well enough to know his brand of integrity, and he hadn’t had much of a chance to earn her confidence. What they’d shared had been too new and tentative to handle that devastating news with any real conviction.

  What Justin feared now was that Meredith would never give him a chance to prove himself or to work things out. He would have to deal with that, as well as his part in it.

  Thinking about losing her so quickly made him angry. Maybe it was for the best in the long run. Anyone who could so completely misunderstand his motives was probably not a person he needed in his life.

  He tried to tell that to his heart, too, but so far it wasn’t listening.

  After answering perceptively curious questions, he was left to deal with his boys’ disappointment over Meredith’s leave-taking. The week passed a bit more slowly and uneventfully than the first, and when it was time to head home, they were all ready. He arrived back in Portland on Friday, so he’d have the weekend to organize himself and the family before getting back into the work and school routine.

  Every day he had called her cell phone, listened to her voice-mail message and hung up. Finally Monday, on his way to work, he left a message: “Meredith, it’s Justin. I understand your feelings and your lack of trust, I do. I’d appreciate it if you’d talk to me. We could meet somewhere for coffee. We could meet anywhere. Or you could just answer the phone or return my call.” And, covering all the bases, he left numbers for his office, his home and his cell.

  He’d just left the message, so when his phone rang, his heart skipped a nervous beat.

  But it was his own office number on the caller ID. “Good morning, Alicia.”

  “Good morning, Mr. Weber. How was your vacation?” The voice of his fiftyish secretary was cheerful and familiar.

  “It was good,” he replied. “The boys were almost worn out.”

  She laughed good-naturedly. “Then you must have done something right.”

  “What’s up? I didn’t think I had anything scheduled this morning.”

  “You don’t. I kept the calendar free so you could catch up. But Morgan Davis just called and asked to see you.”

&
nbsp; She referred to director of the Children’s Connection. “Did he say what about?”

  “Only that it was important that he speak with you.”

  Justin glanced at his bare wrist before he remembered his watch needed repair and still lay on his dresser. He glanced at the clock on the dash. “I’m on my way in. Tell him I’ll be there in about ten minutes.”

  “Will do. Do you want lunch brought in today or do you have plans?”

  “Keep me open.”

  “Done. See you when you get here.”

  Justin ended the call and drove toward the clinic. Inside the office area, which was decorated in muted pastels and supplied with comfortable chairs, the receptionist greeted him. “Mr. Davis is expecting you,” she said and got up to lead him down a hallway to a set of double doors. She rapped on the wood, opened the door and preceded him in. “Mr. Weber is here, sir.”

  “Morning, Justin,” Morgan Davis said, standing to shake his hand.

  The woman handed Justin a cup of black coffee and discreetly disappeared.

  “How was your vacation?” Morgan asked politely.

  “It was the best of times, it was the worst of times,” he replied, taking a seat and sipping the steaming coffee.

  “You’re rested?”

  “Physically.”

  “I see.” Morgan came around to sit in the chair beside him. “I understand Terrence filled you in on the FBI investigation.”

  “He did. Any new developments?”

  “No, but information is trickling in. Apparently several kidnappers were captured in a sting in Russia. However, the police in Moscow aren’t sharing much information or any names, so the Feds are starting from scratch.”

  “And the Sanders baby is still missing?”

  “I’m afraid so.”

  “What’s his name?”

  Morgan cast Justin a look of surprise.

  “The missing baby is a boy, right? What’s his name?”

  “Timothy,” Morgan replied.